Average Joe Patriot: Congress Has Come Up With A Solution With Unemployment.... LOL

Average Joe Patriot

I'm just an average Joe who has read the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Federalist Papers, and most importantly the Bible. Our Greatest Nation began with these documents as our guide. Please educate yourselves by reading them before believing anything that comes out of a politician’s mouth.

With the current gross abuses from our leadership in Washington, I want to share with you what I see as I see it. These abuses have been increasing as we have traveled down the road of history. Without refocusing our goals through the lens of our founding principles, we will surely loose our way.

Make no mistake, a take the side of the American People and the principles which make this country great. I don’t care about partisan politics, fluffy rhetoric to mask the lies from self-serving elitists who have lost their higher calling.

Please do not idly sit by and watch the destruction of our Greatest Nation which has inspired freedom in the midst of darkness for over two centuries. We can have real change, with real results. But it starts with you, the American People who collectively share the legacy of having giving more for our fellow man than any other country in our worlds history.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Congress Has Come Up With A Solution With Unemployment.... LOL

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any
further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much CRAP (Congressional Resource Appropriations Portion) Should you feel that you do not receive enough CRAP, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the CRAP you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.